The Grand Dress Rehearsal

"He knew all the right words as he strung together intoxicating phrases
Words that seemed so new to me, but, were nothing new at all
He wasn't unique"
~unprotected love~

I read those lines in that poem and so many things came to mind. I wondered how many things that I thought were unique to my connection with a guy were really things he had perfected in countless other relationships. Was the special way we held hands really special? Did he kiss all his girls on the forehead? Was the nickname he gave me really my nickname? How much of it is unique? How much of it is rehearsed?

It's like we are all putting on a play. At one point the script is new to us. We look at in admiration hoping one day to conquer and make it our own. We have rehearsals, countless rehearsals, trying to get it right. There are times when we learn the lines wrong from the beginning and it takes countless rehearsals to fix the bad habit. Sometimes we take a huge risk in a scene and it doesn't work out. Sometimes it's brilliant but it was just a rehearsal. Sometimes the play never makes it to production. Sometimes actors and actresses drop out. At times the people we are in scenes with just aren't good enough actors. But it all boils down to opening night.

But just before that, you have the grand dress rehearsal, where, by now, you should have learned all your lines, picked which angle works best, and you know just how to find your light. This is also your last night to mess up. Or get it right.

The Performance. Either it's a hit or a failure. Mediocre? Who ever remembers mediocre?

Now I know we all bring something from our previous relationships into the next, but where does the uniqueness come in? Is there a line that can be drawn, a maximum amount of things you can bring with you?

I've noticed that I do some of the things or say some of the things I thought were unique to a certain person to someone else. I can't help but feel a little guilty. Even among friends. Like taking someone to a restaurant I really enjoyed with someone else. Sometimes it's unavoidable (and in a city like Boston, it really is) but do we make the effort?

So let's say we make the effort to be unique and we do all these "different" things, and it doesn't work out. What a waste! Stick with what you know, what works for you. I guess it's important that the individual is unique and not the things they do. The connection between any two individuals is unique to those two individuals. It may remind you of a past time, but it is never the same.

I still have questions:

How should you treat relationships? Should it be like a rehearsal, a dress rehearsal, or the final performance? When do you know how much time to invest? How do you know you're decision not to invest so much time is the reason why things didn't work out? (Don't get me wrong - I am fully aware that some people don't even deserve to qualify as a "rehearsal" or a "table read")

when is rehearsal and repetition all right? When is it not?
Is there anything even wrong with doing the same thing with different people? (I mean, it's buond to work on someone and they'll love it despite how many experienced it before.)

Example to help you respond:

You bring a new bf/gf to a restaurant that you called "your spot" between you and your ex? How do you feel?

Or it can be a personal experience....let me know what you think