Oh Squiggly Line.....You are forgiven...

this doesn't have much to do with the post, but I love this...

Ahhh, the infamous forgiving and forgetting…

Is it even possible? I say yes – but only when you want to. You also have to factor in investment – emotional or whatever. Ight, lemme explain – so let’s get into it.

Example # 1: Let’s say I’m supposed to meet my Bestie in the city and I cancel last minute. But let’s say she was running behind schedule, wrapped up with her boo. No harm done. Forgiven and Forgotten.

Let’s say she was waiting for me in Macy’s since 3, and it’s 4 o’clock now (it’s happened before – sorry Bestie) and then I cancel. No doubt, she’s pissed. She may forgive, but she won’t forget. Next time we meet up and I say I’ll be there at 3 she’s gonna say “Riiiiight….suuuuure.” She probably won’t expect me til 4 so she’ll do something else, that way she isn’t wasting time, upset, because I’m late or won’t show. She’s protecting herself…(I think we are on to something here)

Example # 2: It’s your birthday. You can’t find your man anywhere. He dodges you all day. Tells you he’s out hanging with other people. You’re upset! You get home, vexed. Open the door and “SURPRISE.” It’s a party. And just like that he’s forgiven and all the lies are forgotten!

Okay. It’s a regular day. You can’t find your man anywhere. He dodges you all day. Tells you he’s out hanging with other people. You’re upset! You get home, vexed. Open the door and “SURPRISE.” Hi Veronica! (You’re name is not Veronica). Hell no! He’s not forgiven. You will never forget.

Now let’s say your dumbass does decide to forgive…we know how persuasive these guys can be. (okay okay, you’re not a dumbass – sorry bout the name-calling.) You may forgive. You can sincerely believe that he was sorry. And Veronica was just so tempting, but he really loves you and he will never do it again. But how can you forget that??? I mean he lied. He was deceitful, and worst of all, he hurt the f*ck out of you! You gotta protect yourself. How can you forget? You have to make sure it doesn’t happen again! Right?

Hmmm. Here’s the problem. Let’s give mr. man the benefit of the doubt. Let’s say he’s truly sorry and he won’t do it again. If you won’t forget, chances are you’re gonna throw it in his face from time to time. And how could you not? I mean, you’ve been scarred! It plays over and over in you head. You’re betrayed. Some hurts just never go away.

So I’m thinking. If I can’t forget something you did, how can I fully forgive you? If I know I can’t forget, won’t it just hurt both of us in the long run? I better be sure if I can’t forget that I will be able to move past it at least 90% of the time. Otherwise I’m gonna live a life of second guessing and doubts.

Sometime you gotta be able to say “This time she will be on time.” Or “He will never do it again. He loves me.” But sometimes that can only happen after a person proves himself. Maybe that means I gotta be waiting for Bestie for a few times and she comes late. Or maybe you have to lose a little bit of your freedom to prove you really aren’t with anyone else. But I’m also thinking that you can’t forgive carelessly. Protect yourself from being hurt.

And ultimately, you want to be able to forgive fully, so that when you mess up (and you will). You will be fully forgiven.

Is this statement true? “If you can’t forgive and forget, then forget about forgiving.”

Thoughts anyone???