Want Me, Don't Need Me!

“What!? Do you think I’m going to die if you leave me.”
I’m not sure if she was hurt because his reply to her threat wasn’t what she wanted to hear, or because it was true. What really were the chances that he would have fatal heart attack the moment she turned her back on him? Slim at best. Would he enter a depressive cocoon and just rot over time until he was rotting in the ground. No.

Reality would have it in this fashion: two simple options. They would remain together or they wouldn’t. One out of need, one in want. He would chase after her if she left or he wouldn’t. My mother once said to me that a man always chases after his rib. A man who truly loves you could not bear the thought of losing you, even in the smallest of arguments.

I’ve been in situations in my short lived life where I thought I needed people. After a while, you stop needing your parents. Hell, some people grow up without their parents, so all they really needed them for was existence. Then there are times when you desperately need some around to talk to, to vent to, to help you. But you can’t find anyone. Then who do you turn to? Do we really need people? I know that sounds like a callous question to ask, but, what can someone do for you that you can’t do yourself. I truly believe that the only “person” you need is God. I’m not saying alienate people, but avoid the need.

Here’s my argument. The world of needing is so selfish and blind to the person supplying. How often have you asked God for something and thought about how God feels about giving it to you or giving something to you? Needing relies on a level of dependence. Let’s face it. No one wants someone else to be fully dependant on them. Even our parents kick us out of the nest. Our humanity would have us feeling used and abused, tired, and drained. In an intimate relationship there has to be balance and one sided needing just throws that off. One person then feels like they have the upper hand. You need me, I don’t need you, that means you gotta do this and then maybe I’ll do that thing you need me to do.

Doesn’t it mean more to not need someone and to still want them around? To make a choice out of desire instead of the burden of necessity? I would hate for someone to need me. To wake up and say, “damn C gotta stay around, I need her.” I want someone to wake up and say, “I want her around.” To make the choice. And trust me, I know in the whole love thing, it can get confusing and it starts to feel like he/she really is the air you breathe, when in reality he/she isn’t. Even God doesn’t force us to love Him, He gives us the choice. Love sought is good, but love given unsought is better.