My Birthday

My Birthday was yesterday! "Happy Birthday to Me!" I'm 21! How does it feel??? Great! I usually say, "it's nothing special," but this one really was. I'm not saying that something physically changed in me or that I felt something inside when I turned 21 but it felt good. Just knowing that I am 21 - legal - advancing in my womanhood.
I've been thinking about my life a lot in the weeks leading up to yesterday. I have come to several conclusions about what I want and need in life. I need God and I want a relationship with Him. I have been slacking TERRIBLY in that department. And a disconnected life isn't worth living. I need family: seeing my brother and sisters, niece and nephews, aunts and cousins yesterday in my house eating and laughing was the one of the best gifts I received this birthday. And I need friends! And I am so blessed that I have so many! I love all of them! And it was good to see people celebrating with me even though our friendships have been a little shaky. And!!! I want love! I've been in love before...and it's tough...so that's not what I am asking for....right now. But soon... (within the next 5 years)! I want that contradictory love - where you hate that you love them so much. So, I'm accepting applications! PLUS my mother gave me the biggest SUBLIMINAL message yesterday - she put a wedding candle on my birthday cake! HAHAHAHA - I love you mom! Thanks for having me! Here's a poem I wrote just for her:

21 years ago and a few months before
A doctor stood before a woman ridden with pain
He said “this is the only course.
And maybe, maybe, you’re life you’ll gain.”

This woman, beaten by a disease
Looked at this man with tears in her eyes
She asked “And throw away God’s increase?”
She hoped he would hear her heart’s cries.

“But it’s your life or hers,” he pleaded
Or maybe even both
I have to do what’s best to save you
Its in my doctor’s oath.

It’s the word “save” that struck the chord
With this frail women laying in a bed
To save was a price only Christ could afford
A gift he gave when he dropped his head.

Unlike her body, her faith would not die
The God who gifted her this new life
Even though she didn’t know why
Had a plan through all the strife.

He would take a woman doomed by man
Bring her gently on a delivery bed
Soothe her pain with his hand
And the blood she would bleed, he already shed

The child who doctor’s said “get rid of”
Would come in to a world and know
Not just what the word means: love,
But how through a woman’s actions it did show.