the aftermath

Sunday, during my recovery, I am suddenly awaken by Deb. She pushes a pair of pajama pants and a tee in my hand, and says something along the lines of "They killed Daicy!"

"What?"
"They killed her. She's done. DONE!"
"What? WHO? What!?!?!" I say this while putting on my clothes, I don't think my shirt was on before i opened the door to see about 9 cruises posted outside Deb's house. Her mother came to us concerned asking is what we did last night, why the cops were after us and how could I have parked so recklessly on the sidewalk. I didn't park, let alone drive the night before. Both my hands reach my head and I yell "Oh c'mon you gotta be kidding me!" I look over and see the entire left side of my #1 bitch brutalized!

Sergeant Craft comes up to me and asks if I'm the owner of the vehicle. (Umm yeah, I would think so...I mean I am the one freaking out) He then begins to apologize.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME!?!?! THIS IS THE SECOND TIME BPD HAS HIT ME!!! AM I THE ONLY CAR ON THE ROAD!?!?"
The sergeant flat out begins laughing. "Twice!?!"
"Yeah, and I've only been in two accidents! You do the math!"
"Well maybe you should stop jumping in front of police cruisers!" Another vertically challenged officer chimes in.
The sergeant and I decide that it is best to mess with my father and make it seem like I've been arrested. I call daddy. Daddy asks sergeant C abot 67 questions before I'm back on the phone again. Proof that my dad no longer considers me as his number one: "so what you gonna do? How you getting home? drive te truck. see you later." Ouch dad. Thanks for coming to my rescue.

So it's back to the laughter, name calling and jokes. Chilling with the sergeant and his goons. He then proceeds to insult Daicy asking me "is this a hooptie or a whip."

"AWWW CMON IT'S A 2000!!! It's def a whip." Daicy is a whip. Yeah she's been damaged but that bitch is a whip! All the moments we shared. Imma miss you Daicy!

Back to the story

The Sergeant has one of the best senses of humor I've come across in a while. The jokes don't stop and then he tries to hook me up with one of his officers! I couldn't believe it. He was actually quite serious. Whipped out his business card and wrote the number of the officer on the back. He told me that he and his wife are the best match makers and that their peoples usually hear wedding bells. Umm I don't know bout all that...or any of that for that matter. Dude is not tall. And by not tall, I mean I'm taller than him. He's not ugly...but apparently looks aren't everything. Height plays a major role. What happens when I throw on some 4 inchers!? So I take the card and they take my car. Poor Daicy. I love you! Ima get a Daicy2 (ha! multiples and duplicates - and yeah I'm talking to you, person reading this. It's an inside joke!) So anyway. While they tow my first car ever! I had to spit some game right quick. Yeah I looked hung over, my hair was effed up and I was wearing a beat up white tee and some blue pjs, and in all that I managed to somehow still be cute! It's my CHARISMA! and smile! and just flat out beauty DUH!

"Soooo I heard you're taking us (Deb was with me) to Dunkin' Donuts. I mean I would take myself but seeing as though I don't have a car that might be difficult."

Laughter.

"Yeah it'll be like a first date for you and [officer]"

I laugh.

"And you guys should bring me to Morton St so I get my dad's truck."

they stop and stare at each other. Is she serious? I was dead serious.

"So are we going to Dunkin first? Yeah we need to go there first cuz this hangover is hurting. Need coffee. now."

"Well go get changed then."

"Changed? for what!?"

"And she is low maintenance. [officer] you need to get on that. A lawyer, funny, and low maintenance."

"Um yeah, (looking at the sergeant) I heard you're treating."

He laughs. "Of course, let's roll."

We get in the car and we talk about school, and future, and Iraq and Afghanistan (officer man is a marine with 3 tours under his belt), we talk about guns, and how they pull plates. It was interesting to be on the other side of the fence. All other days, ach ay tee ee see oh pees! But these guys were funny. We drive down River Street and they actually answer a call with me and Deb in the car! Sirens on, that vibrating thing (yay) and speeding. Shit was fun! Finally, we get to Dunkin' Donuts and they start making fun of dragqueens who work there, telling us stories of how they arrest them and torment them LOL! Sergeant Craft writes the order and gives it to the designated punk of the day [officer]. He reluctantly goes in. I couldn't pick between coffee or a strawberry coolatta so mr. marine gives me both! sweet! The coffee was the worst tho. They finally bring us to Morton street after driving around the world! I promise to email the Sergeant a copy of this blog post. And we exchange goodbyes and depart. Fun times.

Meanwhile I forgot how much of a shift it is to go from a honda accord to a ford expedition. Felt like i was flying i was so high off the ground.

The rest of the night is another blog post.

But update on Mr. Marine: So i was thinking how beneficial would it be to have a cop as a friend? Does it go against all that growing up on west selden has taught me? what if i get in trouble, could this be useful? is it fair to judges a man by his height (yes!)? The sergeant spoke extremely highly of him....hmmmm. So anyway, yesterday I went to get the police report and lo and behold, [officer] is the one who helps me! So today i decided to call him, thinking that the number i was given was an office number. Nope it was a cell. Clearly he's interested in me (I mean why wouldn't he be!) cuz he told me "it took me long enough to call" lol. funny....i think....and no he didnt sound desperate. It was kind of funny. All in all he has a good sense of humor. and he has a GUN! woohoo! lol... yeah he wants to take me out sometime....but let's be serious.....

let's be serious.... that's like katie holmes and tom cruise....