Saying "NO"

Sorry Kate, but I went to go see 27 Dresses with Jen yesterday. It wasn't intentional, but they said we couldn't use the free movie passes I had on a movie that just came out (Fool's Gold), so we saw the second option. (BTW it was good!)
There was one part of the movie that really got to me. The main character, Jane, just couldn't say no (Don't worry I'm not gonna spoil the movie). She said yes to all of everyone's demands and in the end it left her miserable. Her selflessness didn't do anything for her but label her as a pushover and doormat. And that made me think. It made me think about when I used to have that same problem. It used to make me happy that I could always be that person other people could depend on. It made me happy to make other people happy. But overtime I just felt like no one ever thought about making me happy because I was always so busy trying to do something for everyone else. I'm sure this had something to do with being accepted on some level, in the beginning stages. But that was only necessary with friends who wanted to use me--when I wasn't able to come through like reliable ole Gretch, they would be no where to be found.
But in the few recent years of my life, I've developed friendships with people who needed absolutely nothing from me and were just happy being with me, around me, talking to me, laughing at and with me. And that started the change for me. I could still say no, and know that that person would be in my life the next day and the day after. And even with my parents (I know yall think I live to please them) I am able to say no (not too often, you know they are my bread and butter for the time being) and understand that that doesn't make me a selfish, inconsiderate, daughter.
This change, huge change, that Deborah has been crying in my ear about for like 10 years, has made me genuinely happy with myself. I am no longer defined by what I do for people. I am defined by what I do WITH people. This, I've discovered is the sheer, simple difference (that managed somehow to elude my understanding for YEARS) between users and true friends (like you people, who read my blog)! Thanks for helping me make this change in my life, even though yall didn't know it. In the wake of Death Day, I mean Valentine's Day, I am celebrating Agape Love (Brotherly Love) and telling all of you that - I LOVE YOU!