Ladies! Know Your Role!!

This post was inspired by several associates of ours. This is an OBLIGATORY post. A post of dire necessity! I really wish there was a way these girls could read this...
Eff it, ima link em on Facebook.

Ladies, please KNOW YOUR ROLE! We got the Vagina Men in February, and Ladies, now it's your turn.

1. How old are you? Pouting? Really? Unless you are doing a sexy victoria sectet photo shoot and the photographer asks you for a sexy pout, no one over the age of 12 pouts. Pout in your room, when it's just you and your man, but in public??? C'mon man. So you're mad? Pull the asshole aside and vent your frustrations away from everyone. Wanna make a scene? Make a scene! But don't sit in a corner in a room full of people and pout.

2. Ladies, I know we don't like being called a bitch, but we all got some bitch in us. And there are times when it is absolutely necessary to release her! If your man disrespects you (and you have good reason to be upset) don't take that shit laying down. I'm not saying to stoop to his level, because chances are your blows will be wittier and will probably do more than a little sting. For example:

.......... Ummmm...................Damn, I got nothing! No examples come to mind because guys don't have the balls to disrespect me like that! Must be something I exude. But in the event that homeboy tells me to "shut the fuck up," "I don't care! Leave," or the like. I think a simple laugh in his face and a "Bitch, don't act like you can do better" or "No worries, you WILL come crawling back" will suffice. And if I plan on exiting stage right or left, best believe Mr. Sexy-lips-wonder-tongue will be answering my phone call before I leave the room with enough time for it to be clear to you that he is picking up both me and your slack. Thank you!

3. He does not have to like your friends. But chances are, he probably doesn't like your friends (or your friends don't like him) 'cause he's a shitmen (#9). Take a hint. One thing you should not do is pick a fight over both of your relationships with your friends. Your relationship is about you and him (and compromise). Keep in mind: "If you're the only person you know that likes him, you're overlooking extraordinary flaws." Belle in Brooklyn.

4. Cheating!? What is that? Most of the shitmen guys I know say that all men cheat. Well, not if he's with me. And if he cheats on me, you better believe it's 'cause I let it happen and I'm def doing my dirt on the side. How can I be so sure.?Because I got it like that. Yes, it is that simple. If you keep thinking, "he's gonna cheat, he's gonna cheat," GUESS WHAT!?!?! HE WILL! You will start acting paranoid, obsessive, and crazy. Wrap that up. NOW, by no means am I saying that you are the reason he is cheating. His dick and stupidity are the reason any guy cheats on a fabulous girl (such as the one I hope you will become after reading this post). Don't be blind or naive. He ignores your phone calls during the day but answers random ones at 3am; he ALWAYS got a story; stay texting, on aim, and always getting messages; he's a professional DELETER (never has any messages on facespace and mybook (ed...lol); decreased sex drive (NB: a man's sex drive, unless he is sick, does NOT diminish. So if he doesn't want to give you the regular dosage, it's probably because he is wearing himself thin...if you get my drift. Wait, but you probably don't get my drift. HE IS NOT FUCKING YOU AS OFTEN BECAUSE HE IS FUCKING SOMEONE(S) ELSE!)

5. We could all use a lesson from Trina - you are the baddest Bitch! Repeat this to yourself every time you pass by a mirror, a car or building window, or basically anywhere that you can see your reflection. "I was the baddest bitch, I am still the baddest bitch, and I will always be the baddest bitch." Self-confidence goes a VERY long way. There is a reason why we are all secretly attracted to that cocky dude.... Swag!You need it! You have potential to have more swag than any nigga ever will!

6. Use your gut, intuition, and common sense. Get hip to the game. Don't get played.

7. You're man should have your back. He should not leave you in a club, in a foreign country, while you are scantily clad, because he is throwing a bitch fit. Can I get some protection, some love, some tlc. Let me be mad, put me in my place if you will, but do not abandon me. Abandon me and you abandon you place as my man. Keep your receipt ladies, so you can return all damaged guys for a full refund.

8. Pretty and INSECURE???? Doesn't add up to me either. Hopefully just reading that will be a lesson learned.

9. LEAVE!!!! Yes, I said it. If you're not happy (and you know when you're not happy) PLEASE LEAVE! If he is mistreating you with no remorse, please leave, and take with you all your dignity. Don't compromise yourself for someone who could care less about you. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE! Leave and be fly. Go get your hair done (don't cut it---I'm tired of guys being the inspiration for girls to butcher their lovely tresses), get your nails done, go swipe-happy at the mall. Be fly and HE WILL regret letting your leave. But please, regret is not an excuse to take him back. Trust and Believe!

NOW, in order for your renovation to be complete you must read this woman's words of wisdom!