Yeah, yeah, yeah. We all want the bravery, the courtesy, and the gallantry...but what about all the downsides of a Knight in Shining Armour...
1. If you're the knight in shining armor, then I must be the damsel in distress. I'm sorry, but I'll pass. You get to parade around on your horse, with your sword, and your shiny boots and I get to scream and cry out your name for you to save me from the evil villain or the fiery dragon!? Hell no, this girl loves boots! And I've been fascinated with swords for at least 17 years... and there is just something so gratifying about knowing you were in a sticky situation and you managed to pull yourself out of the mire.
2. Okay, so you're fully suited in this shiny armour, right? Well for starters, when the sun comes out, it's gonna hurt like hell to look at you. And secondly I have no idea what is underneath all that metal. You could look like Sheldon Williams for all I know (okay that was mean...beauty is in the eye of the beholder...and I mean he did pull Candace Parker...soooo I ain't mad)... and I know beauty is only skin deep - but that's asking too much! A girl gotta look past the armor and now past the flesh!? C'MON! PLUS! (we about to go a little deeper here) All that knightly sh*t, could just be a cover up for all the asshole underneath. And it wouldn't be til you thought you found him that you realized he was the toad that didn't turn into a prince. I'll take my "what you see is what you get" chances any day!
3. It's the 21st century! Can I get a cutie with a computer please!? Chances are if I need you to save it's something that could be handled on Bank of America online, info you can get on wiki, or a something you can email me. Woo me on aim, blogger, and gmail, please! Nosah, a girl would always appreciate a hand written letter sooo much more! So just hold your horses (literally) with all that other javelin throwing shit.
4. There is nothing cool about a guy coming to your rescue when it's his job. I don't know about you but it's those times when no one was around and the most unexpected person comes in and saves the day that matter most. Unfortunately, Mr. Knight, but your efforts would most likely go unappreciated. Just because I'd probably get used to it and think nothing of it!
5. I see your horse, Mr. Knight, and I'll trade you the new TL!
6. Now let's face it. If you have the notion of a knight in shining armour who will always prove his valor and rescue you - please throw it out! No one is perfect, and creating an unrealistic ideal for any guy to live up to will lead only to disappointment! And if you talk to the sort of guys I talk to they are probably just being real men, with real men problems, and issues. Stop looking for the perfect guy. He's boring. Trust me. Look for the one with room to develop. And then you can develop together! Now would you look at that - I just gave you an activity to do together! Am I the only who hears wedding bells.... ;)
7. Who's gonna open my door for me? Do it yourself! What happens when he isn't around! You may just forget how to turn the knob. And if your carrying a heavy box to the door, it wouldn't hurt to ASK someone to open it for you. This could be a girl by the way. Why does decency and going out of one's way to help someone have to rest solely on the shoulders of the man? A closed mouth don't get fed! We can't expect a guy to know what to do to make us happy all the time - you gotta tell him!
8. Because I am not a helpless woman. No one likes someone who is dependent ALL THE TIME! Balance, share the load, whatever! Just do your part. Scene: Knight saves princess from burning castle and carries her all the way down the steps, risking being eaten by a dragon, and carries her while he is on the horse??? STUPID!!! Now let's cut to Shrek, when he yanks Princess Fiona out the bed and makes her run! Now that's one smart ogre! (Check this cute reinactment)
9. I'm searching for a real love...and some real LOVIN'!!!! I don't want no cold armour touching my hot bodday! How are we supposed to get down with all that metal!? TALK ABOUT PROTECTION!
10. Chivalry must die! How else will we make room for the respectful, computer savvy, gentlemen of the 21st century. Sorry Sir Lancelot... you're outdated!
3 comments:
U lucky ur reasons were on point! But I can't lie, sometimes I wana be rescued, bein my own supawoman gets tired sometimes, miss independent needs a vaca from tine to time!
i have to agree with jeni....BUT the whip can replace the horse
Damn. You DID have some good reasons, but like jeni said, sometimes I get tired of putting on my own damn cape. Then again, you didn't say the knight couldn't come ever, just not all the time.
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